


Someone Else's Shoes

by Rhapsodist



Category: For Sale: Baby Shoes Never Worn - Anonymous
Genre: Drabble Collection, Epistolary, Gen, Humour, Multi, Not Beta Read, do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23932147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhapsodist/pseuds/Rhapsodist
Summary: An irrepressible optimist's takes on the infamous short story.
Kudos: 1





	1. This is Why Baby Shower Registries Exist

[The Hartford Gazette – October 7, 2011]

For Sale

Baby Shoes; Never Worn and Gently Used

Two identical pairs of formal shoes

Black patent leather, size: 0-6 mo.

Never worn pair: $15

Very gently used pair: $10

Little one outgrew both pairs

Contact Brittany Smith at bsmith@epost.com

* * *


	2. Relocation

[The St. Olaf Daily – September 13, 2002]

For Sale by Owners

2 bdrm, 1.5 bath 2,000 sq. ft. home

Great starter house with large kitchen

Five minute walk to Main Street

$175 000

Call Teddy or Violet Jensen, 555-0011

No random drop-ins please

[The Mariposa Gazette – October 21, 2002]

~~For Sale~~

SOLD!

3 bdrm 2.5 bath 3,500 sq. ft. suburban home just outside of Miami.

Spacious, 2 living areas, dream kitchen and large patio

Wonderful neighbourhood with good schools

$250 000

Shirley Wilks, Sunshine Realty

Mariposa, Florida

[The St. Olaf Daily – October 25, 2002]

For Sale

Baby Shoes! Never worn!

Brand-new yellow winter boots

Sized 6-12 mo. $18

Call Violet Jensen, 555-0011

Limited time offer (Moving)

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, those were indeed references to 'The Golden Girls'. No, I will not be apologizing for them.


	3. A Well-Meaning (But Unnecessary) Gift

[Daily Free Press – January 16, 1996]

Free

Christening shoes, never worn

White leather shoes, 0-6 mo.

Soft-soled with cross embroidery

If interested, call the Millers at 555-0110

* * *


	4. Grandma Knew

[Sanford Times - June 20, 2009]

BIRTHS

BROWN-JONES – David and Susan Brown of Sanford proudly announce the arrival of their grandson, Noah Benjamin Jones. Born June 14, 2019, at 8 lbs 2 oz and 19.5 inches long, to Michael and Emily Jones of Brighton. Noah joins older brothers Mason and Ethan. He is David and Susan’s seventh grandchild and the sixth grandchild of Robert and Angela Jones of Brighton. Special thanks to the staff at Brighton Medical Centre.

[Sanford Times – July 11, 2009]

For Sale

Never Worn Baby Shoes

Adorable pair of pink canvas Mary Janes

Infant-sized & never used: $17

If interested, contact Susan Brown at 555-0123

[Sanford Times – September 6, 2025]

BIRTHS

RETRACTION – BROWN-JONES – In 2009 we announced the arrival of our grandchild as Noah Benjamin. As it turns out, we were mistaken. We are delighted to present our lovely granddaughter - Nora Beatrix Jones.

* * *


	5. The Shoemaker’s Shoes Have No Children

[The Citizen Bulletin – April 6, 1974]

NEW Baby Shoes For Sale

Hand-crocheted Booties by

EVERY LIL’ STITCH CO.

Available in various colours

BabySoft yarn, machine washable

$4 a pair or 2 pairs for $7.50

We take commissions

Contact Barbara Hook at 555-0808

* * *


	6. Family By Choice

[The Daily Journal – November 10, 2018]

JOHNSON

Riley and Taylor Johnson-Proctor are thrilled to announce the newest addition to their family: Zora Mae Johnson. Zora was born September 3, 2016 and joined our family November 5, 2018. Loving you is the easiest thing in the world.

[The Daily Journal –January 12, 2019]

For Sale

Baby Shoes, never worn

New-born sized Hi-tops

White leather with tan textured soles

Lavender laces. $20

Call Riley Johnson at 555-0123

(Evenings or weekends)

Or email taypro@epost.com

* * *


	7. Like a Weed

[The Sentinel – March 20, 1982]

For Sale

Unworn Infant Shoes

Unisex Mesh Laced Shoes

Tan with brown trim and laces

My little sprout outgrew them

$7 OBO

Call Nancy Cermak at 555-0055

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paediatricians suggest against shoes during the first year as they can hinder the child’s walking development.


End file.
